"Because two terms ain't enough."
Vice President - Bobby Jindal
"He shook hands with George Bush once."
Secretary of State - Sarah Palin
"She can see Russia from her house."
Secretary of Defense - Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch
"He looks tough. Plus, he'll crunch-a-tize the opponent into submission...and flavor."
Secretary of Transportation - Dale Earnhardt, Jr.
"He can get from point A to point B...in 3 seconds"
Secretary of Treasury - Edward M. Liddy, CEO of AIG
"He knows how to spend, and that's important."
Attorney General - Eli Stone
"Suit? Check. Balding spot? Check. He has all the makings of a lawyer."
Secretary of the Interior - Ted Stevens
"Drill, baby, drill."
Surgeon General - Dr. Phil
"I’m pretty passionate about things I do, and particularly at this age, because I don’t have to do the things I don’t want to, and I’ve got more things that I do want to do than I can do. Therfore, sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right."
Secretary of Agriculture - Martha Stewart
"This is a good thing."
Secretary of Commerce - Donald Trump
"The name's Trump...Donald Trump. He knows how to fire people."
Secretary of Labor - Ty Pennington
"He can build a house...in 7 days."
Secretary of Health and Human Services - Jose Canseco
"Telling it how it is."
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development - Cory Booker
"He'll improve the racial deliciousness of the country."
Secretary of Energy - Aman Ra, the Sun God
"Always living, always vigilant, always sunny."
Secretary of Education - Mrs. Williams
"There's been too much putzing around in this position."
Secretary of Veterans Affairs - John McCain
Secretary of Homeland Security - Arnold Schwarzenegger
"He'll pump you up, and protect you too."
White House Chief of Staff - Barney, the Dog
"The Chief of Staff should be a man's best friend. Who better than a dog? Woof."
Administrator of the EPA - Rex W. Tillerson, CEO of Exxon/Mobil
"Exxon/Mobil can do without."
Director of the National Drug Control Policy - Seth Rogen
"Drop out of school, smoke a lot of weed, and write a movie about it."
Director of National Intelligence - Mr. Bean
"He's always watching, and never speaking."
Chair of the FCC - Sean Hannity
"Fair and balanced."
Secretary of Wisdom - Mr. Mackin
"Make it a great day or not, the choice is yours."
No comments:
Post a Comment