Our Party's Platform

The third-term party, along with its emphasis on a third term, has many conservative ideals that are essential for promoting the American dream.

1) Get rid of welfare and social security.
2) Privatize health care.
3) No unions.
4) Change the "No Child Left Behind Act" to the "Williams No Putzing Program."
5) Pro-life.
6) Drill, baby, drill.
7) Stay in Iraq, finish what we started.
8) Lazer forcefield between the U.S. and Mexico.
9) Invade Canada. "They're planning something. They've had it good for too long..."
10) No regulatory actions in business whatsoever.
11) Capital Punishment
12) Global Warming...wait, what?
13) Anti-gay marriage, pro gay-union.
14) Abolish affirmative action.
15) Increase army spending...public what's?
16) Amend the Constitution, except for the second Amendment. ESPECIALLY amend the 22nd amendment.